Welcome back, I am so happy you are here.

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Table of Contents

1. Some Thoughts on Things | Philosophy

2. My New Story + Character Creation | Illustration

3. Bi-Weekly Recommendations | Closing Thoughts

Some Thoughts on Things

At the end of a busy month, I’ve found myself mulling over quite a bit. Admittedly, I missed my first newsletter in six months a couple weeks ago on account of the excess work required to edit and update my draft of A Robot Called Rodger, as it was polished and made ready to send to editors at publishing houses. Now that the process is complete, and Rodger is appearing on the desk of executives at Scholastic and Simon and Schuster (like what?), I have turned my attention back to establishing a productive, and self-sustaining cycle of creativity.

My first instinct was to be hard on myself. I haven’t missed a newsletter since the induction of the idea, and I don’t like failing to meet my own expectations, however arbitrary they may be. More importantly, I didn’t want to let down those of you who enjoy seeing my comics or rambling words show up in your inbox on a bi-weekly basis. If I really think about it, I could have stayed up late, forced myself to come up with something lackluster, and played it off like it was the work I originally intended to share, but that almost felt worse than missing the release day altogether. In the end, I decided it was better to be frustrated with myself over the work that I didn’t share, rather than the work that I did.

Part of the reason I started this newsletter was to foster a healthy relationship with my work, and forcing myself to create something has simply never ended well for me. As I’ve said in the past, for my own mental health I try not to hyper-fixate on the work I produce, and having a rolling deadline allows me to take some of that pressure off, but I feel there is a major difference in intention between work that falls short, and work that fails to communicate anything.

While I recognize that it is sometimes necessary to show up and create something on the days you don’t want to, I have never been very good at it, nor have I ever tried to figure out how to do so more effectively. I don’t feel that it serves me, and on the rare occasion I am able to do so, it just leaves me feeling empty. That’s not to say that I’m unwilling to push through discomfort; I absolutely am, but discomfort is not the same thing as forced output.

In my mind, discomfort is understanding there will be good days, bad days, and a lot of days in between. Actively acknowledging that paths of passion are far from linear, often difficult, and require an excess of discipline, yet moving forward anyways.

Deep down, forced output seems to come from a place of self-harm, or at least it has in my past experiences; but to give yourself compassion, to sit with discomfort and root yourself in intention... well that often ends up being the harder path (even if we all owe ourselves that simple kindness).

We often forget the flexibility is free. The number one predictor of consistency, of goal retention and achievement. It is something I pushed back on for a long time given my ADHD-driven aptitude for routine, but persistence and presence can co-exist if you give yourself the space to let things flow.

All this to say, thank you for being patient with me as I move through a period of uncertainty and change. Ultimately moving towards a career in creativity was always the goal, but I never knew what it would look like until now. The change is exciting as it is unexpected, and while I could have found time to force something onto the page, it has been important to be present with my passion, and all of the discomfort that comes with.

Should it happen again, I plan to be more forthright in the immediate, but letting things flow has allowed me to steady myself in the work once more, and I couldn’t be happier.

My New Story

+ Character Creation

Throughout September, I have been attempting to write the manuscript for my second picture book. I don’t think we talk about ‘seconds’ a lot. A Robot Called Rodger is the book that secured me an agent and I couldn’t feel more grateful. As soon as we made the edits to the draft and got it out the door to publishers, a realization hit me. I needed to begin writing something else, and for a moment I didn’t know if I could. Call it imposter syndrome, or the strange feeling that your second story is where you convince everyone taking a chance on you that it was worth it, but I struggled for a bit.

It has been over a year since I first finalized the manuscript for Rodger, and while I have written other pieces and drawn a lot, I have not sat down and planned another picture book. It’s a very specific style of writing that I honestly haven’t done enough to feel confident in. I had some general ideas for stories, based on characters, artwork, a conversation or two, but given the lack of depth behind any of them, I knew it was going to be a solid and prolonged effort to get something on the page.

Initially, I planned to write a story centered on my artwork of the girl and dragon that some of you will be familiar with. I had a few sequences outlined and felt like I knew the characters pretty well. After a couple hours of writing (literally anything that came to mind) I looked at the words on the screen and frowned. I always expect a first draft to be messy, but this was unhinged. Nothing seemed to fit, and I couldn’t help but feel like I was writing two or three different stories that were haphazardly stitched together, lacking identity and a little confidence.

I stood up to get a snack, fending off the feelings that maybe my first story was a fluke. Two fruit roll-ups in hand, I was ascending the stairs and told myself to simply pull out anything that felt like it didn’t fit with the original image, and leave it for later. So that’s what I did. I opened a new document and could hear the two stories being torn apart like velcro. To my surprise, it was the words that were unassociated with any image that caught my attention, and after sitting with it for a short time, ideas began to flow.

An hour later I had what felt like 50-60% of a solid story, and over the past 2-3 weeks I have built it up and whittled it down to something I am immensely excited about. The story is titled “There Once Was Magic”, which was the very first line I wrote on the original word document.

I will save the narrative details for another day, but I can tell you it is a story about presence and learning to move through the world with intention… if that sounds familiar. After my initial writing session, I knew that I needed to create a test illustration for my main character, Olive. A name that felt equal parts peaceful and adventurous.

Here is the process I went through to find our little leading lady.

Bi-Weekly Recommendations

• Is there an area of your life that feels like it has an excess of forced output? Is there a way you can let it flow and find room for compassion?

• A few songs that feel like a bit of an engine restart:

  • “People Watching” by Sam Fender

  • “Tomorrow is Closed” by Nothing But Thieves

  • “Alligator” by Of Monsters and Men

• Don’t forget to follow the “What a Wonderful Wednesday!” Playlist on Spotify, updated bi-weekly!

Support My Work!

If you enjoy what I do, please consider a donation! Not only does it support the time and effort I put into my work, but it also allows me to create more. Anything is greatly appreciated!

Thank you for being here.

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